Reflexions

The results are positive

Project Maria dates back to October 23, 2017, when I was told by phone, whilst working, that the result of the biopsy performed on the nodule on my right breast, had tested positive, and that they also wanted to test the left breast. The news, contrary to what may seem normal, did not cause me any upset. What’s more, if I had been informed that everything was in order, something that doesn’t usually require any phone calls, I would have been surprised. It is not uncommon for a doctor to order a biopsy after a puncture, so I had a whole weekend to imagine that despite not having a family history, I could be the first woman in the house to have breast cancer. We hope the last one too!!!

Don’t be shocked when I speak of disappointment, but I am one of those people who think that we create the disease and possibly also cure ourselves, in order to review and correct what we do not want in our lives. Jordi recently told me that this is what his mother, a victim and survivor of lung cancer two times round and I think also colon cancer, had always thought. The fact is that I would have been disappointed not to have had the opportunity to generate the great changes that I was suddenly faced with due to suffering from cancer. It’s true, it may not have been necessary for the reason to be so drastic, but hypothetically, independent and somewhat stubborn people, sometimes need high-stake shots to become truly aware that we need to stop in order to keep moving forward.

Without a doubt, illness is a warning that there is something in your life that you can work to improve … and this is what really worries me about it all: will I be able to take advantage of this option that life offers me? Will I be able to clean up what is toxic to me? Will I be able to get rid of negative relationships that suck energy and pierce the mind? Will I be able to say no without feeling guilty and giving love without fear of being hurt? Will I know how to love myself? Will I know how to love? Will I be able to take out the anger that has turned into resentment and that possibly exposes you to various tumors and diseases?

This project pretends to be this: a path to self-knowledge, to the pursuit of personal well-being and what I want to be when I grow up, now that I am…

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